Breaking Generational Trauma and Cycles
Generational trauma refers to emotional wounds, survival behaviours, and coping patterns passed down through families, often without anyone realising it. It can quietly shape how we think, how we relate to others, and how we view ourselves.
But healing this trauma isn’t about pointing fingers or assigning blame. It’s about developing awareness, compassion, and the courage to break the cycle, for your own well-being and for the generations that follow.
How Generational Trauma Can Show Up in Everyday Life
Many people carry generational trauma without realizing it. It can manifest in subtle but powerful ways, such as:
Fear of emotional intimacy
People-pleasing or perfectionism
Chronic guilt or shame
Difficulty trusting others
Overreacting to small triggers
Repeating unhealthy or toxic relationship patterns
These patterns aren’t your fault, they’re often learned responses passed down as a form of emotional survival.
Why Breaking the Cycle Matters
Breaking generational trauma requires conscious effort and emotional work, but it’s worth it. The healing journey can:
Free you from limiting beliefs and unconscious behaviours
Help you form healthier, more authentic relationships
Improve your emotional resilience and self-awareness
Create a healthier emotional legacy for future generations
You may not have created the pain, but you can choose not to pass it on. That’s the power of breaking the cycle.
You’re Not Alone
Many people are just beginning to explore their own generational patterns, and it’s normal to feel uncertain or even guilty when you
Often, there’s fear around speaking openly, fear of upsetting family members or being misunderstood. But healing isn’t about blaming others. It’s about understanding the impact of what happened and deciding what you want to carry forward.
Try starting with gentle language, like:
Many people are just beginning to explore this, I’m learning too
And remind yourself:
It takes time to break patterns that took generations to form. Give yourself permission to be patient with your healing.
A Personal Story
As with many of my blogs, I like to share a bit of my own journey.
Writing this post was challenging. I found myself worrying: Will this upset someone I love? But then I reminded myself, this isn’t about blaming anyone. It’s about healing. It’s about truth.
Growing up, my parents had a very toxic and unhealthy relationship. At the time, I didn’t realize the impact it was having on me. But as I got older, I began repeating the same patterns, I entered abusive relationships, believing that was normal… that it was what I deserved.
Everything changed after one particularly painful relationship ended. I started opening up about my experiences, and people responded with concern and compassion:
“Abi… are you okay?”
“You do know that’s not okay, right?”
Those comments were a turning point. I began to realize that the love I was seeking, safe, stable, kind and it did exist. I just had to believe I was worthy of it. So, I put in the work. Slowly, I began healing. And I found it.
If This Resonates With You
You’re not alone. And you’re not broken.
Therapy can be a powerful tool in this process. It gives you a safe space to unpack your story, break inherited patterns, and build new, healthier ways of living and loving.
Someone I love once told me:
“You are partly your mum, partly your dad, but 100% you.” That really stuck with me, and I hope it resonates with you too
Final Thoughts
Breaking generational trauma is brave. It requires self-awareness, honesty, and often a willingness to feel uncomfortable as you grow. But the freedom that comes from healing is life-changing, not just for you, but for everyone who comes after you.
Keep going. You’re doing something powerful.