The Other Side of the Storm

Most of my blogs have shared my personal journey and experiences—but it’s easy to forget the impact mental health challenges can have on the people around us.

I’ve carried a lot of emotions not just about what I went through, but about what it did to those who stood by me. From my family and friends who sat by my hospital bed, to my parents who watched their daughter fade in and out of herself, slowly losing the girl they once knew. And then there were the friends who stayed—despite being so young and unsure of what to do.

So I thought: what better way to explore that side of the story than to hear directly from three people who have been there from the very beginning—until now.

It was incredibly hard to choose just three, because so many people have helped me in one way or another. But I decided to share the perspectives of my mum, my dad, and my friend Elly—who has been in my life forever and never once gave up on me.

My Dad: Holding On When He Couldn’t Fix It

‘There is no greater pain as a parent to witness your child in extreme suffering. The parasite that is the suffering of mind is one that you cannot see or even begin to understand, until it becomes a part of your family.

 You question everything you ever did as a parent to cause this, you experience guilt, regret, anger, terror, panic and fear to watch someone at the point that they no longer wish to exist in the life that they are living.   You feel helpless, hopeless and totally out of control as you pray for the right resources and your child to find the strength to fight what is going on in their own mind and body. 

You want to fix it but you can't, all you can do is provide the resources, the love and support that is needed, and allow the person to find their own way with your arms firmly around them. Being around Abi was terrifying , yet we fought and frankly all grew from the pain of her suffering. Sometimes you have to fall to grow and take actions in yourself as a parent, that is your responsibility in their suffering.’

My Mum: Loving Me Through the Chaos

‘ When Abi was first diagnosed with anxiety and depression I couldn’t understand what I had done so wrong. I felt sick and such a failure. No parent gets a manual to read, but I felt I always tried to be a good Mum. I thought I’d given my daughter the best time; love, days out with friends and family, kids classes at the gym, after school clubs and friends over regularly, but never realised just how much she was struggling. Yes, at times I could see there were problems, especially with “friends” at school, but she always had an answer if I ever queried it, and I’m sure it was always what she thought I wanted to hear, so I assumed all was good, or as good as it could be for a teenage girl! I felt like a punch-bag, always the one to blame, for anything that wasn’t quite right in her eyes, I was always in the wrong. When Abi didn’t want me in the house or even in the same vicinity as her, I thought I could move out temporarily to give her space, where I couldn’t be blamed for anything else, but then felt that was “running away” which would never solve anything, just delay any resolution, so the dog got walked a lot instead! I also felt I couldn’t talk to friends or family because they wouldn’t understand as I didn’t and where would I start? Eventually I began to understand, that she lashed out all her frustrations on me as I was the closest person to her, she knew I would always be around and never let her down. I learnt to cope the best I could. I cant say I understood and still don’t pretend to, but I learnt that she didn’t understand either and with patience, perseverance and persistence, we began to move closer together, singing from the same hymn sheet, even if we did go off-key very now and then!

Every teenager and Mum have their differences, but you have to continue to be the Mum. Be there whenever they need you and learn to step back when they don’t, but continually give them love and reassurance, even if they feel they’re too grown up and don’t need it.

I will add that I never stopped loving my daughter, and never will, she was and still means everything to me. I wouldn’t change her for the world!’

Elly : A Friend Who Stayed

‘When Abi was going through a really tough time in her life, I often felt anxious about what might happen. There were moments when I lay awake at night, worrying about her and feeling unsure if I was doing enough, saying the right things, or making enough time for her. It was scary not knowing how things would turn out and often left me feeling worried to when and if I was going to see or even speak to her again. However, over time, seeing Abi slowly rebuild herself and come out the other side has been genuinely inspiring. She’s grown into someone so much stronger and self-aware, and now she’s using what she’s learned to support others going through their own struggles. She has come SO far and I’m honestly SO proud of her. Keep doing you Abs💜’

These are just a few of the incredible people who have supported me throughout my journey. There are so many others who haven’t been named here—and to list them all would be impossible.

So I want to end with this: thank you.

Thank you to everyone who has shown me love and support, from the very beginning to where I am now. I’m endlessly grateful.